What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

We're story-telling animals and it can be argued that this skill is one of the things that means we're still here, and Neanderthals are not. The ability to tell stories helps us to sell, to persuade, to connect and so much more.

Mosaic of the words "your story"
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Hello, happy Sunday 👋

Do you ever questions the stories you tell yourself? Or the fables that make sense of who you are? It's not something I ever used to question.

We're story-telling animals and it can be argued that this skill is one of the things that means we're still here, and Neanderthals are not. The ability to tell stories helps us to sell, to persuade, to connect and so much more.

We get so good at it that we start to tell stories to ourselves. Often without really noticing.

Here's an example from my own life.

For many years I worked in the public sector in the UK. I had a variety of leadership jobs in the health service. This was after an initial start to my career in the software industry, which didn't end too well.

Over time I started to tell myself I was bad at business. And then I embellished the story. I noticed that my father worked in the public sector. His father worked in the public sector. His father worked in the cooperative movement and so on. I began to see myself as a natural public servant.

I even heard myself saying, "making a profit isn't in my DNA". And, you know what, it's a good story, based on real facts. One that made people smile when I told it.

But it isn't true. It's a story.

This was one of the biggest insights I had when I worked with a coach. This story was holding me back from what I really wanted to do which was to launch my own business.

Coaching shined a light on this through questioning:

  • Is it really in your DNA?
  • What is this story stopping you from doing?
  • Is this narrative serving you?
  • What have you already tried?
  • What if you believed in yourself?

These are just examples, but they show the power of the coaching process in helping us to tell new stories. Stories that help us to grow rather than holding us back. Stories that take us to where we want to be.

So, what stories are you telling yourself? And what would make them better?


Oh, one last thing. My career in software did end badly and I told myself that this was my fault over and over. But a different way to see what happened is that I worked in a toxic company, left gracefully and started a successful career in a brand new industry. Which is pretty damn cool.

See what I did to my story there?

Good luck with yours 🤜🤛


Last Chance To Book

For the last few months I've been offering Introduction to Coaching Sessions every Monday for just £60. This was to help people get a taste of high quality coaching at an affordable price. They have been really popular and helped a lot of people.

The good news for me is that my client list has now expanded and I am busier than ever. The bad news is that this means I can no longer offer these sessions.

And so, if you want to take advantage and get some first-class coaching, you'll need to move fast.  

I'll keep the booking window open for the next two weeks. But after that, it will be gone.