Stephen Lock

ILM7 Certified Executive and Senior Leadership Coach. Combines self-enquiry and modern coaching to support deep & lasting transformation. Writes about ways to improve your life and work.

Still At Your Service From A New Home

Hello Friends 👋 I recently wrote to tell you that The Coach's Couch would be moving to a new home. That move is now complete. Soon I will be closing down this site. I just wanted to let you know that all of the posts from here are now available through

Free Gift For Supporters

Dear Friends 👋 You are receiving this because you supported my work in the last few months by subscribing to the Coach's Couch. I am very grateful for that. As I mentioned in my last email, I am moving to a new platform in the next couple of weeks. Watch out

Can You Let Go Of Your Story?

Today I want to tell you a story. It's a story about a story I used to tell myself. Here's how it goes.

Try This Powerful Influencing Strategy

The techniques described here are based on the concept of Perceptual Positions which is a useful way of seeing problems from different angles.

Does Your Brain Need A Rest?

Do you ever get that feeling that your brain just isn't working anymore? Maybe if you stop and pay attention you realise that your body isn't as charged up as it might be. Then you go deeper and notice that your spirits are depleted.

A Seasonal Approach to Improvement

Perhaps there is something much deeper at play here. We are not separate from nature. We are not separate from the rest of the forces at play in the universe.

How To Be Happy At Work

Sometimes we find that we get a little lost in our careers. Things change around us. We outgrow our current role, before another becomes available. We experience this as frustration, feeling lost or simply as unhappiness.

These Questions Will Change Your Life

Is growth contained within these words? Is it sent to you from your coach? Is there a font of wisdom from which you can drink?

How To Be More Coach-Like

It takes time, patience and a lot of hard work to become a qualified coach. And even when you've qualified it takes a lot of time, learning and development to improve. But anyone can try the basics if they follow these three steps.

What's Their Hero's Journey?

I was on my way to the supermarket at the end of a long day. It was cold, wet and I wasn't really in the mood to do the weekly shop. Out of nowhere a car zoomed past me, made me swerve and meant that the traffic lights turned red just before I got to them.

What's Your Hero's Journey?

Part of the coaching process is to explore the stories we tell ourselves to see if they serve us. And, if they don't, to see if we can reframe them in a way that gives us strength. The hero's journey can be a powerful way to do that.

What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

We're story-telling animals and it can be argued that this skill is one of the things that means we're still here, and Neanderthals are not. The ability to tell stories helps us to sell, to persuade, to connect and so much more.

What if...?

This tip works like a magic charm for me. And I hope it will for you too. Because, the magic is in the "what if". It allows me to imagine a better, more loving, more expansive version of myself in a moment when I'm not feeling it.

Set Better Resolutions

Happy New Year 👋 I hope this finds you well and optimistic for what 2023 will bring. Perhaps one or two of you are reading this with a sore head? Or perhaps you are strapping on your gym wear ready to start the new year in the right way? Ready to

You Won't Change Anything Without This Tip

As you change your actions, you'll feel better. And after you feel better you will see the world through fresh eyes. You will see the opportunity and beauty and possibility of you, your community and all of humanity. Then it will be pleasurable to do more.

A Productivity Tip From Taoism

The reason why the writings of Lao-Tzu are still talked about is that they contain a lot of eternal wisdom. One of the concepts of Taoism is wu wei, which can be translated as "effortless action". And you can apply that to your work right away.

Rewards Are All Internal

This week's tip is a simple mind shift to help you associate better with your goals and achievements. It draws on the non-dual understanding as well as standard coaching techniques.

How to Put Things In Perspective (2)

This is the second of two companion posts on getting perspective in life. The first post was about how taking responsibility for things that are happening makes us feel more powerful. This one helps us to put current problems into perspective.

How To Put Things In Perspective (1)

One pattern I have observed in the last couple of years is that, on some level, many people are not as okay as they might be, even if they say they are "fine". When questioned more deeply we find that this is because of big things that are happening in the world that are beyond their control.

A Question to Fight Imposter Syndrome

The problem with unresolved imposter syndrome is that it can stop you making good decisions or prevent you from doing what you want to do. If you find yourself having these sorts of thoughts, there is a great question you can ask yourself at any time.

You Can Use This Powerful Coaching Tool

Fortunately, coaching isn't like the Magic Circle. We are allowed to talk about how we perform our tricks. When you are having a coaching conversation with someone you can use this technique to help them.

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A Positive Message From Your Future

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A Psychological Approach to Motivation

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How To Help People Talk

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Don't Compare Yourself to Anyone